WHY GET MARRIED? (Part 3)
In our last two blogs we have been talking about “Why Get Married”. We talked about various reasons which are in the Bible. Today we going to look at another biblical reason for getting married.
God designed marriage for the perfection of our character.
Certain character qualities can only be developed in relationships. It’s only through relationships that we learn to be unselfish, other directed, caring, empathetic and loving.
When we were born, we were completely self-centered. Nothing on the planet is more self-centered than a new baby. A baby doesn’t have the capacity to think about anyone else. All they can think about are themselves. I’m too hot, I’m too cold, I’m hungry, I just pooped, I need to be cleaned up… The first concept a baby learns is “I”!
Human maturation and development is the process of realizing it’s not all about “I”. It’s about learning that happiness comes from being unselfish — serving others — and being loving. One of the major goals of life is to grow from selfish to unselfish. Unfortunately, there are some adults today who haven’t adopted that goal.
Life is a process of learning how to love other people. Why is love the most important thing in life? The answer is because GOD IS LOVE, and God wants us to become like Him. He wants to love others as He loves others, and He wants us to learn to be unselfish.
God uses the marriage relationship as one of the primary places where these qualities can be learned. Marriage is a lifelong course in learning to be unselfish. Once we are married, “me” gradually becomes “we”. When we are married, we learn pretty quickly that we can’t always do whatever we want to do. One of the first things we have to learn is compromise.
God wants to make us like Jesus. That’s His number one goal for our lives. That means He has to change our character, because our character is the only thing we are going to take to Heaven. It won’t be our cars, our careers, our houses or anything else related to this world.
God uses the marriage relationship to do that. The marriage relationship provides numerous opportunities to take focus off ourselves and onto our spouses. But you might say, “But my spouse is not even a Christian.” So what! It doesn’t matter. They don’t have to be saved for you to focus on them. God still uses them, because they’re close to you and they have the most impact.
Here’s a statement worth memorizing:
THE NUMBER ONE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IS TO MAKE ME HOLY – NOT HAPPY.
I know that’s counter culture, but it is the truth. And by the way — the holier you become the happier you become. Studies show that we are the happiest when we are loving, giving, serving, sharing, and unselfish.
I have heard people say, “My goal in life is to be happy”. Unfortunately, that’s an elusive goal. Happiness was never meant to be a goal. It’s a condition that can only be achieved when we are lined up with God’s plans. Let’s look at Romans 12:9-10.
“Love sincerely. Hate evil. Hold on to what is good. Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other.”
That’s an excellent summary of what God wants to develop in us. I like the idea of excelling in showing respect.
Excelling means we get better and better.
Before I was married I thought I knew how to love a woman. Boy was I wrong! I knew nothing about love. Nothing. After 38 years of marriage I have learned a few things. God has been working in me. But even so I still have a long way to go, because I am far from perfect. That’s why marriage is a lifelong process.
Well, we have gone longer than I originally planned, so I am going to wait until next week to talk about the next biblical reason for marriage.
In the meantime have a great week!