WHY GET MARRIED?
In our blog today we are going to start a new series entitled “WHY GET MARRIED? Let’s begin by looking at what Paul says about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:7.
“But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. But God gives to some the gift of marriage, and to others the gift of singleness.”
Paul says God controls who gets married by giving the gift of marriage to some and the gift of singleness to others.
OK, so how do we know which gift we have? The answer is quite simple. If you have any desire to get married – now or in the future –then it’s likely that God has given you the gift of marriage. And since He has given you this gift, He has somebody in mind for you to marry.
On the other hand, a person with the gift of singleness will say, “I’m perfectly happy to live the rest of my life and not be married.” “Marriage is not a priority for me — my life is complete and fulfilled without it.”
Hebrews 13:4 talks about marriage. It says,
“Give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage”.
This is how God wants us to view marriage. Notice He gives us two commands. To everybody He says honor marriage. To those who are married, He says remain faithful. Unfortunately, these ideas are not in vogue in our society today. In fact, it’s the opposite. Today, many people dismiss marriage as irrelevant — as unnecessary — as an impediment.
The main reason for that kind of thinking is that the purpose of marriage is not clearly understood. Forty or fifty years ago, if I asked people what was the purpose of marriage, most of them would know. And many would cite biblical reasons. Today that’s less likely, because society has turned away from the Bible and is moving toward secular humanism.
Today many people think marriage creates problems and causes complications. You will often hear people say, “I didn’t have any serious problems until I got married!” But let me tell you, that’s wrong thinking. Marriage doesn’t create problems — people do. Actually, marriage reveals problems. If I’m negative to begin with, my marriage didn’t cause that. If I’m a perfectionist, or an alcoholic, or a codependent, or whatever, my marriage didn’t cause that either. Marriage is the joining together of two sinners, and they bring their sin problems with them.
Sometimes in counseling I come across people who say, “I’ve been married several times, but it just doesn’t work.” My question usually is, “What do you think is the common denominator? If you have been in several failed marriages, maybe the problem is you!”
Now, the Bible says marriage has several important purposes. Let’s look at the first one.
God designed marriage to connect men and women together.
Let’s look at 1 Corinthians 11:11.
“But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men and men are not independent of women.”
From this we can see that God designed a connection between men and women. Unfortunately, today’s attitude is that men and women don’t need each other. But that’s not what God says. We are made in God’s image, and that includes both men and women. God thought up gender, and He designed men and women to need each other, and He designed the marriage relationship to fulfill those needs.
When God created Adam, He didn’t create Eve right away. Why did He delay? Why didn’t he make them both at the same time? I think he wanted Adam to realize that he was incomplete. Adam must have asked God about it. He saw all the animals paired together — male and female, and may have said to God, “What about me?”
That’s when God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who is right for him.” That was the first marriage. God made Eve to compete Adam, and He made Adam to complete Eve. In Mark 10:6-9 Jesus said,
“But God made them male and female from the beginning of creation. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one (completeness). Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
This is a very informative passage of Scripture. First it says marriage is God’s invention. Secondly it says is marriage is between a man and a woman. There are many different kinds of human relationships, but marriage is the ONLY one where a man and a woman are mandated to become one.
And thirdly the passage says that marriage is to be permanent. It says what God joins together – no one should separate.
Now I understand that these ideas are not popular today. BUT THESE ARE GOD’S IDEAS. Marriage is for a man and a woman to become one in a permanent relationship.
OK, that’s the first purpose of marriage.
Next week we will look at the second purpose. Until then, have a great week …